I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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