I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
