apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
