i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
