Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
