it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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