I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
