i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
