if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
