At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How external is "for external use only"?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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