i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
