we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
