dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
