My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She's just so happy...and so naked.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize