you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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