it was like his penis was on wheels.
My cat gives me a boner
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
