its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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