That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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