there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
