Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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