That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
