I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
