I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
