Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
