Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
