Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
