ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
