The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
