There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
