trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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