I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
