My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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