Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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