So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
