is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize