honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
