I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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