Me too!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize