It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
