would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
