there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
