HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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