even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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