I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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