My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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