so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Watching her eat just hurts me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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