His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
