I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
