That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
