Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
