im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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