I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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