I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
