Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
