well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
