Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
