I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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