I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
