I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
