:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
