Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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