Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
