i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
