she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
