Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
