Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
