Apparently you make a good broom.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
