I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
