he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
