Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
