My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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