I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
