weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
