Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
